I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
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