Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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