i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
