Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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