I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
I queefed so loud it echoed.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
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