sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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