Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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