ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
