matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
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