going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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