just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize