That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Randomize
