that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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