I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
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