i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
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you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
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I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
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