I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
someone owes me an orgasm
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
