i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Randomize
