its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Randomize
