You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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