I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
