so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize