were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
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