I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Pants are for mortals
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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