My vagina just recognized that song.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize