Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Randomize
