Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Randomize
