My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Randomize
