that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
