i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
