He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
