I think i sorta joined a cult last night
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
