she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
