North Korea, Best Korea!
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Just invented taco cereal.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I just had sex on a roof
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize
