I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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