i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Randomize
