i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
