In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
