I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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