I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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