i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
