I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
