i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
