When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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