I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
