This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
