sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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