at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
