I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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