He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
