don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
