Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
