Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
