When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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