My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
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