So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
