just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
We need to get me chipped asap
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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