just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Edward fifth and chaser hands
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
