I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
