He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
