When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
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