hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Randomize
