Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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