you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
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